So I tell my mom about my post, Me, My Dad, and Maurice. Because it’s cute, and there are pictures of her grandson, and I know she’ll get a kick out of it. Well she did more than that. See my mom is an elementary school teacher, and her specialty is reading to kids. So naturally, she takes the blog post and reads it to her students. Then she has them write a journal about the story. Here’s the email she sent me regarding the experience. Their comments are great! (Emily’s comment is my favorite).
So far I have had wonderful reviews from my students. Here are some of the comments that they made verbally and in writing as they did their reflections in their journals.
Bryce (second grade boy) Is that a real Goblin? It looks like it. He’s gobblin up his dad. That’s not a real goblin (as he looks at the picture) His hands aren’t green. That’s really cool to look at the pictures and see. (Favorite part of the story) Let’s make a deal. That’s a good story. Actually, monsters aren’t really ghosts are they? My dad and I saw a ghost together. That was fun!
I liked the part where he said,”Eat my dad” when it really was his dad.
(Bryce draws a picture of the Goblin as part of his reflection) I would sow the goblin’s mouth shut so he can’t rip somebody’s head off. He can kill somebody. He has a stream of blood coming out of his mouth.
Kimmy/second grade girl
(comments while drawing a goblin) He goes back. He has greenish-brown hair. His hand is cool.)
(Kimmy’s comments to Bryce) Why would you say he’s good? He eats people! He’s good to the little kid but…
The goblin looks awesome!
Bryan/third grade boy
I like how he’s going to make his dad do a whole bunch of stuff just to make him brush his teeth.
I’m going to ask my dad to turn into an airplane and I’m going to fly him to Florida and my mom too. Then I’m going to fly back home. Then I’m going to have one gigantic enormous party. I’m going to be home rockin out. Then I’m going to give all my dad’s money to a hobo to buy a car.
“You’re going to be home alone like the kid in the movie?”
Yeah, and I’m going to set a thousand mouse traps to catch all the bad guys.
David/third grade boy
I’m going to tell my dad to dress up like a clone trooper. Yeah, we can get out the light sabers. That will be so cool!
another third grade boy
I’m going to tell my dad to dress up like a super hero.
Bryce/third grade boy.
He looks like R2 D2. I’m going to ask my dad to dress up like Java Fat. He’s this guy that’s a clone that has a jet pack; he can fly!
I’ll make a deal. (talking about the scene where the kid makes a deal with Maurice) He’s dressed up like a human;he’s a real monster. Clunk! Oh, no! He gets gone. Oh, no, nothings under there. Clunk! Mom, monster! Oh no, dad’s dead. Call the doctor!
Emily/third grade girl
It’s a weird story. His daddy’s weird! They have the same pajamas on.
Kimmy/third grade girl
It’s a boy story. It’s funny. (comments as she draws) Be forced to eat’em. Monster, you still there?
This is a story that boys in first to third grade can relate to, especially second and third grade. As a teacher, it would be a good story to teach word choice and voice. The students really related to it and could take off from it to make the story their own such as the boys talking about what they want their dad to turn into and then what happens. Also, all the boys took off to Star Wars and jet packs and acting that out. The boys’ and girls’ thinking also went to ghosts and demons and their experiences with them.
Word Choice: (What kid’s laughed about)
I don’t have to pee.
His own teeth are frightening. Every one is pointy and crusty with yellow gunk. The inside of his mouth is bloody, like he’s eaten another one of his kids.
He’s always talking about it like he’s got a clock for a brain.
If you hold him by the tail, Dad, he’ll bite your hand off.
Kids can relate to it, and it creates a lesson to teach voice for written expression.
Kid’s can relate to this because the dad doesn’t take over totally. The father allows the kid to have control as Bryan says, ” I like the way he’s going to make his dad do a whole bunch of stuff just to make him brush his teeth.”
Like his dad is clueless allows the kid to be more knowledgeable than his dad about stuff. ”If you hold him by the tail, Dad, he’ll bite your hand off.”
Time is a “Dad thing” affirms that Dad’s and kid’s priorities are different and dad can respect that.
Dad allows the kid to be irritated with him for always bossing him around with things that the kid just can’t see are as important as how he wants to spend his time. He’d much rather build his imaginary creature than brush his teeth and Dad and him both get that their priorities don’t always mesh. The kids love that!
They also like the ending because the fun doesn’t end. There’s something to look forward to as dad’s going to be a Clone Trooper tomorrow. They can also ask their own dad to be something.
“So I pretend he doesn’t exist and keep doing what I’m doing.” finally This allows the kid to express his feelings by his behavior but more importantly in his thoughts of pretending he doesn’t exist. Kids and parents both have feelings and are respected. ”Dad finally gets the message and leaves,” empowers the kid but within limits as dad consistently comes back even if he is Maurice, the goblin. Both win.
Other great descriptive word choice:
space dragon guy going
kid snack
Small nose and almond shaped eyes that can smile and frown as well as her mouth. Her short black hair curves away from her face in slopes shaped like bananas.
breath stinks
The relationship with the mom is very important as mom is there and she’s a loving, nurturing mom, one who is giving of self and who will get up nightly to nurture her son and who would gladly spend the day with her child only if she could. She also understands her kid as he’s probably grumpy because he didn’t sleep well, but she doesn’t let him completely off the hook as she frowns with her eyes and mouth when the kid becomes angry and says, ” I hate dad.” The message is a clear one, not a good choice to choose those words but ok to be irritated.
Mom is also real, one that brings her down to earth and maybe like all moms not perfect; After all, her breath stinks. Kids can relate to that. She’s like my mom, too.
The book is filled with endless possibilities.
See, mom’s been right all these years… I am special.